Now on the second leg of my trip across the States back to San Francisco, I have a few hours to do some debriefing about the reunion weekend.

What just happened?

The short answer is I had a hell of a good time.  Shockingly so.

There were activities throughout the weekend and my reunion festivities started on Friday night when me, Cathy, and Lisa met for dinner with two other ol’ pals, Joy and Diane.  The five of us and a handful of others used to pal around throughout high school and go to and host lots of parties together.    My god, it was fun to see them.   We were thrown back to our high school antics, when at the restaurant which was filled with geriatric dancing seniors, we asked and were allowed to move to a more ‘quieter’ table and nearly burst out into tears when the owner/manager made us take our napkins with us as we switched tables.  What, you couldn’t wash the extra napkins?   Two hours flew by in an instant as we bantered about and caught up on the gossip.    Here we are then and now:

We then descended next door to Uncle Henrys bar where we caught up with about 30 of our classmates.  Oh my gosh, I hardly recognized some of the guys.  But once I was reminded of their names and I could recall their faces, I could still see their boyish features now disguised as men.  And yeah, most have lost their hair, so they looked a little different from their wavy-locked looks of the70’s.    That’s what happens when you’re almost fifty.

The women, on the other hand, were easy to recognize.   We don’t seem to age as much as we’re fortunate to have culturally accepted died hair.  Our thing is the big M – menopause –  and we shared a whole lot of laughs as we talked about the sweating and the change.   So I don’t know which gender has it worse and I guess it’s all just part of life.

I was nervous about coming and attending the reunion but some older friends of mine said that it would likely be fun because at this age, the pretenses are all gone, we are who we are, we’re in or out of our careers, we’re married, divorced, single, whatever.  We could be comfortable in our skins and just let it all hang out.

And that’s exactly what it was like.

Saturday evening’s event was held at fellow classmate Kevin’s wedding banquet hall and motel in Hopewell Junction, NY, about an hour north of Harrison.   Another fellow classmate, Ralph, who owns a bus transportation company, offered to drive a bus load of attendees to/from the reunion.   I elected to drive myself and spend the night at the motel.

The party started at 7 pm and it kicked off with a bang.   As soon as one walked through the doors, one was transported back in time.   Every time I turned around, I was saying ‘Oh my god, there’s so and so.’   Everyone was in such good form, so chatty and full of life.     And certainly the open bar and home-made skull-and-cross-bones vodka punch helped loosen the tongues.

I had so many fine conversations with people, I barely sat for any length of time.  Two of our teachers were there – Mr. Taischoff, one of our math teachers;  and Mrs. O’Donnell, one of our English teachers.    How magnificent that they could come.

At our age, life’s happening, full steam ahead, both good and bad.  I heard stories about how bitterly expensive it is to live here with exorbitant tax rates, high food prices, gas prices, and healthcare costs, just high everything.    Those with kids seem to be never-ending taxi drivers, carting kids from one function to another.  Some had kids as old as 26 right on down to one with a bun in the oven!   Many of us are caring for or dealing with aged parents or have recently lost their parents.   Divorces, marriages, births, deaths, sickness, health — it all comes full circle round.   That is the duality of life.

People have had all sorts of careers too, both blue collar and white collar – airline pilots, engineers, financial planners, recruiters, gardening businesses, flooring businesses, dental hygienists, paralegals, moms galore, book-keepers, accountants, executives, teachers, artists, dancers, photographers, private investigators, the whole nine yards.  It was just amazing to share and listen and laugh and take lots of photos!

Our graduating class was about 325 students and judging from the group photo, I’d say about 80 of us were there (with spouses, we were about 110).   That’s a pretty good turn-out.   Of course, I could not talk to everyone, and I was quite shocked when in the midst of a good conversation, the lights came on and it was time for the night to end.  Where did those five hours go?

There was so much more I wanted to know.  Were you happy?  Did you achieve what you wanted to in life?  What’s left on your bucket list?   Hopefully I won’t have to wait another 10 years to find out.   Let’s stay in touch.

The reunion committee,  Jackie, Wendy, Kevin, John, Carey, Ralph, and Pete deserve special thanks as they did a truly exceptional job.  They worked so hard to put together such a fine weekend.

Will I return for my 40^th?   I think it is highly likely!

I haven’t been to New York since 1998 when my parents sold the house and packed up for their Floridian retirement.   I’ve never kept in touch with folks since I left for California in 1989; and I didn’t see too many people when I came in 1998.    So what prompted my short visit back?    30^th Year Harrison High School Reunion.

I never would have called myself a reunion person.  My past was the past and I was far, far away in California and now even further away in New Zealand.  But a funny thing happened.   Early this year I awoke from a dream about one of my high school classmates.  For years I’d wondered how he’d been, often trying to find him through Google without success.   This time, something prompted me to check Facebook.  Lo’ and behold, there he was, and that moment of reaching out set me off on a trajectory of amazing connections over the last six months.

Through connecting with him, I found out about the upcoming October reunion.   I knew back in March that we were going to be in Kauai for the September wedding, but I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to make the effort to come to New York.

Facebook is truly an amazing gift to the world.  Through Facebook I connected with so many high school classmates and as the momentum for the reunion started, I began feeling a bit nostalgic to head back full steam into my past.  I pulled out my yearbook and went through all the photos.   Who are these people now I wondered?   What a fascinating longitudinal study this would make to see us all 30 years later.   (A documentary called the Up Series has done just this – followed a small group of children from varying London socio-economic classes starting at age seven and were re-filmed every seven years since.  They are now at 54-up.)

By the time July rolled around, I needed to make a decision and I decided to come back as part of my personal healing journey.  I needed to see if I still had things in common with people; if I would like them; if I could reconnect.  I consider myself a pretty progressive open-minded fiscally responsible and spiritually guided fun loving liberal and I wasn’t so sure that Westchester bred too many of those types of folks.

About a month prior to leaving for our trip, random other people from my New York past found me on Facebook too –  a cousin whom I haven’t seen in 27 years;  a couple of guys from my teenage work days at Finast Supermarkets whom I haven’t seen in maybe 20 years; and another dear friend who was part of my deaf family circle whom I  hadn’t seen in 30 years.   Oh my god, I needed to see these people.

Flash forward and here I am in New York for five days, two of which are dedicated to the reunion.   So much has happened in five days and it’s all been exceptional.

I have immense gratitude for my host, Maria.   When I put the word out on Facebook for hotel recommendations, Maria reached out and offered up a downstairs studio unit in her home.   I haven’t seen Maria since the day we left high school. I thought it over for about a day and then graciously accepted her offer.    As if that wasn’t special enough, she also let me use one of her cars and she and another friend Cathy dealt with my transportation to/from the airport.      Thank you.

I truly believe fate brought us together for Maria is on quite a journey of discovery with  new doors opening to her all the time; doors that I’ve walked through myself.   We had so much to talk about, so many similar ideas about life, and it was nothing short of a true pleasure to be so relaxed and comfortable in her home.   Her three daughters are gorgeous and her youngest such a ball of fire and her little white dog Baci took to me like my little Nina and I enjoyed her feisty company.

I saw my second Cousin Tre (my grandfather Santora’s sister’s daughter) whom I had not seen in 27 years – the last time was at her parents 50^th wedding anniversary celebration with the extended family.  I hadn’t spoken to any of them since.   Tre was an important mentor to me when I was a young girl.   Six years my senior,  we used to spend time together over the years from my early childhood through my early teens.  At that age, six years older meant a lot, and I would follow her and her teenage girlfriends around, watching, noting, questioning.   She was always nice to me and we used to laugh a lot.  And she hasn’t changed a bit – she’s still spunky and has a wicked sense of humor despite facing difficult times in her life.   We laughed quite a bit over our two hour meal together, talking about the past when we were kids and then about our adult lives.  I found out things about ‘the family’ I’d not heard about which gave me a different understanding about a few things that occurred way back when.

I also saw my third Cousin Sharon (my grandmother Masticiollo-Santora’s sister’s daughter’s daughter!) whom I last saw in the 1990’s.   She’s only three years my junior and we spent many Thanksgivings and Christmases together as well as many holidays in Florida at Grandma and Grandpa Santora’s and Aunt Bea’s houses.    She’s still the same and again, over a two hour meal, we got caught up on the past two decades.  So much to say, so little time.   She has also worked very hard in her life, facing many obstacles, and now has a wonderful 12 year old daughter.

My friend Mona I knew from around the time I was nine or ten through 17.   I am a child of deaf parents and so is she.   In my youth, my family and other deaf families spent a lot of time together on summer camping trips, often heading somewhere for a week over July 4^th and two weeks over Labor Day.   Our most formative years of teenage exploration with alcohol, love, and romance took place on those KOA campgrounds.   We only saw each other occasionally during the rest of the year, which is really hard to believe since she lived just right over the Tappan Zee Bridge.  What my memory recalls as being SO FAR AWAY is really just a 20 minute drive in adult world.   Go figure.

She and I gabbed for five hours as if we’d last seen each other yesterday.    We had so much in common:  thoughts on healing and holistic health, similar interests in literary fiction, similar explorations with energy and body work, a desire to eat organically and mindfully.  It was fascinating.   She’s also been on a long healing journey, facing many health challenges, but she seems well on her path to good health and a deeper understanding of herself.

I spent a bit of time with my childhood friend since grammar school, Cathy.  She picked me up from the airport, she met me at Sals for pizza, we went and got our nails done together, we went over to the high school, and she showed me around the ol’ hood.   It was so fun to see her – still the same girl deep down, now a mother of two grown children and happily married for 20+ years.  She still lives in Silver Lake and so she was a wealth of information as we went down memory lane.   Thank you Cathy!

And most surprising of all was my re-connection with my high school pal Lisa.   She was not on Facebook, the reunion people didn’t have her contact details, and the details I had from the early 1990’s were no longer valid.   I wasn’t sure if I’d find her but someone told me they saw her working at the local vet.  So I called and though she only worked there once a week, the receptionist heard the plea in my voice when I begged her to get in touch with Lisa and pass along my number.   Lisa called me my first day back and I got to see her on three different occasions.    We had so much fun, laughing as usual.  Now divorced with two teenagers, she’s happy and as gorgeous as ever.   We vowed not to let the distance get in the way of staying up-to-date with each other.   This is me with Lisa’s dog Sonny:

For our junior and senior year in high school and some time thereafter,  Lisa and I worked at the local supermarket which was a few towns over.   Those were some of the best times and years of my life where we did some crazy stuff together with our band of checkout counter girls and shelf-stocking boys.   One of whom was Ricky who I happened to go to the Westlake prom with.    Lisa and I met up with Ricky for an evening and again, it was a night of laughs interspersed with the stories of our not so always happy adult lives.   Ricky, also divorced, has two teen/t’ween children.

I spent an hour or so driving around my neighborhood enclave of Silver Lake.  I went and saw my old house (102 Woodside Avenue) that I lived in from aged 2 through 24;

I drove by my elementary school and church:

I went down to the park where I spent many, many summers at day camp and playing on the softball team.

I had a Cinema Paradiso moment as I stood gazing upon the main street and the park.  Just as the protagonist glances around him hometown, gazing at 30 years of changes,  I too stood in awe as I recalled the changes from my youth, from the empty fields and rinky dink park to now what has transformed into a much more dense suburban community with nary an empty lot to be found and our rinky dink park matured with a state-of-the-art astro-turfed field and an additional swimming pool recreation area complete with slides which has been built in what was a wooded area.  All in the name of progress.

And I just gotta love being back in the land of the Italians!   I gorged on pizza, pasta, and Italian baked goods.  I went to Carvel for a big fat ice cream cone.  The neighbors across the street whipped out their wine barrel press one Saturday and started pressing the grapes to make wine.

These are my roots, my home town.  It was good to be back.

And for the reunion?  Well, that deserves it’s very own post.  Stay tuned.

We’ve had quite a hectic three weeks of non-stop movement as we’ve traversed the wider Bay Area catching up with friends and family. I think we managed to visit with *almost* everyone though there have been a couple of folks we just couldn’t manage to see (really sorry).

It’s been great connecting with people and having in-depth conversations about each person’s life. For most folks, things are just chugging along, though several are concerned about job security. Health-care costs are on the rise again, food prices are high (about the same as New Zealand), the roads are in various states of disrepair, and social services are being drastically cut. Over 70 California State Parks are slated for closure.  One of my friends in the non-profit sector said it was a good year as the company was still operating unlike several other well-known non profits which had closed down.

Life is hard, but it isn’t all doom and gloom. The Bay Area is still one of the best places to live – there are many beautiful aspects, especially the nearby parks and reserves and I’ve been able to get out and do a few good hikes: Mt. Tamalpias, China Camp State Park, and Armstrong Redwoods State Park.

We’ve also managed to stuff ourselves with lots of great food and I fear that a diet will be in my future upon returning to NZ!

I’ve had great fun visiting with all my little friends and bonding over some yoga poses.

And the family….. I’ve spent a lot of time with my 2 year old niece who is just gorgeous (yes, I am biased) and my sister and brother-in-law.

My parents flew out from Florida for a week and we all went up to the Russian River for the weekend where we just hung out, hiked, played tennis, and enjoyed some quality time with each other.

We went apple picking for an afternoon which was fun until some of us had a melt down.

Libran birthdays abound and I’ve had fun celebrating with my fellow Libran friends: Suzy, Manny, Roni, and Sienna.

I am grateful for the time I’m getting to spend with them and it will be sad to say goodbye. But my heart isn’t in San Francisco anymore and I don’t know what I’d do if we had to return. There’s a small part of me that misses the hubbub of city and business life but I don’t think that would be good for my soul. I’m still morphing into a Green Acres girl and not quite finished with developing my horticulture and homesteading skills. Birdsong calls. There’s still work for us to do in New Zealand. But despite the vast ocean that divides us, we will always remain connected to our hommies by the Bay (and elsewhere!)

Here’s a bit of a photo montage of my trip.

First stop – Portland – to see several friends:  Kat & Andrew, Scott & Anne, Ken & Christina, Sola & Inayat at Riversong, and Sebastian.   And thank you Kirk and Jim for coming up from Arizona!  What a busy few days we had.

We played Rockband and went sightseeing:

Lunched with Sebastian and visited Sola & Inayat at Riversong Retreat:

 Back in San Francisco, I hung out with my gal pals for birthday celebrations:

 And BBQ’d with friends Mary, Darek, Wes, Anthony, and Mary and a few others:

And I basically hung out and had many lunches, coffees, and dinners with all my pals.

Jack and Nane, Kelly,  Mei:

 Lillian, Daniel, and baby Nathaniel:

Lashon, Darek, Roni & Ella:

 And of course family:  mom & dad, Joy, David, Sienna, and my sister-in-law Laura! More Sienna photos can be found here.

Whew, we are just a few weeks back from our month-long overseas US trip and what a trip it was! Three destinations, 14 airplane legs, five airlines (Jet Star, United, Mesa, Delta, Continental), 23,000 air miles flown, and epic long journeys with long layovers to get to each destination, all in the name of fun and love to share a few weeks with family and friends.

And what a trip it was. Our first destination: Los Angeles. It only took us 48 hours to get there with layovers in Sydney (10 hours) and Honolulu (14 hours), and a little extra side trip to San Francisco, before connecting on the last leg to Los Angeles. Thankfully, both the Sydney-Honolulu and Honolulu-San Francisco flights were overnighters, so we were able to sleep through most of each flight and, bonus, we got to enjoy a day each in Sydney (okay, just the airport, but I absolutely love airports) and Honolulu (we managed to get a day room at a nearby hotel). So, all in all, it was an easy flight and we adjusted to the time zone change in Los Angeles quite easily.

The actual destination in Los Angeles was Bruce’s brother Stuart’s and his wife Laura’s place in Venice, about two miles from Venice beach. Not a bad place to park ourselves for 10 days. We were there for Stuart’s 40th birthday celebration. Not that we needed an excuse to visit them as we love them dearly and always, always have a good time when there. It was perfect. The spring weather was gorgeous. We mainly sat in their lovely back yard, complete with Asian-styled fountain and gas fireplace, and talked and talked and talked and bbq’d and played board games. Stuart’s party was a lot of fun with about 40 people in attendance, many of whom we’ve known and seen over the years. We fielded a lot of questions about life in New Zealand, why we’re there, what we’re doing, how long we’re staying; and we had many interesting and thought-provoking conversations centered around the state of the world and the future: water quality, biodynamics, economics, composting, food growing, meat consumption, and American-consumerism. The latter engendered much discussion, for Bruce and I stockpiled treasures to bring back to New Zealand from some of our favorite stores and e-sellers: Ebay, Amazon, Trader Joes, Victoria Secret, Target, Walgreens, Home Depot. Books, clothes, shoes, kitchen items, tools. Items that are sometimes twice as expensive to purchase in New Zealand. Yes, you can take the American out of America but you can’t take the shopper out of the American. I’m actually kidding, because we do not spend a lot of time shopping in New Zealand, although this would not be evident to those who saw us opening all our packages in LA. We definitely don’t consume as much as when we lived in the States as we have no need for the many things we used to buy. So we have chiseled away at our indulgent shopping behaviours and the ‘shopping trip’ in the States was considered part of our annual spree.

My sister Joy and her husband David flew down from San Francisco for the weekend and the six of us had a great time continuing on with the chatting, eating, drinking, and game playing. We did manage to leave the house once or twice to foray down to the beach for a few hours of people-watching and beach sitting. Thank you Joy & David for making the effort to see us.

In the midst of the LA part of the trip, I jettisoned off to Florida for a few days to see my mom and dad and to assist with a few things surrounding gran’s passing. I got to go to grans house and go through some of her things. I feel blessed to have one of her necklaces that she wore often these last few years and I now have some of her beautiful old china dishes which I hand carried in my backpack carryon over 10,000 miles all the way back to New Zealand! Mostly though, I hung out with my mom and talked about my grandma. We sat at the pool and talked and reviewed the circumstances of grans last few weeks and cried and grieved. My mom misses her mom – who wouldn’t? And I got some quality time in with my dad too. It was a short trip but so worthwhile. I’m glad I had the opportunity to go.

The next leg of our journey took us to Kauai for two weeks, a place where I used to own a vacation rental and a place that Bruce and I have been to at least a dozen times. The first week was spent on ‘honeymoon’ with our good friends and newlyweds Andrew and Kat, and five other friends, all from the Bay Area. We were a total of nine and rented a multi-unit house right in the heart of Hanalei, the Hanalei Vacation House, within walking distance to the quaint village of the same name and to the beach at Hanalei Bay.

The north shore of Kauai is stunningly beautiful. An outdoor enthusiast’s slice of paradise. We had an incredibly fun week with our friends Kat, Andrew, Darek, Christina, Ken, Mary, and Mike. We were silly, we were fun, we were serious. We were familiar and easily slid into comfortable routines and conversations. We snorkeled at Ke’e Beach and Queens Bath, swam several times in the Blue Room – a sort of freshwater ‘lake’ inside a big cave which one must hike up to and in to, karaoke’d and got silly at Tahiti Nui, skinny-dipped by moonlight in Hanalei Bay, celebrated Mary’s birthday at the fancy Princeville Hotel, and put on a beautiful wedding ceremony for Drew and Kat complete with limericks and haikus, all so that they could have their alternate-reality island dream wedding. We made and drank lots of fruity rum drinks, we cooked delicious meals with amazing fresh fish from The Hanalei Dolphin Fish Market, we went to the farmers market and drank milk from coconuts. We played games, we danced, we had champagne and cake and Bubba’s burgers. We went to yoga and napped in the hot afternoons. It was great. We have traveled with this group of friends in the past and they are the best travel mates anyone could ask for. We love them dearly and both Bruce & I look forward to the next destination rendezvous!

The second week in Kauai was spent with one of my longest-standing friends from California, my good friend Pammy and her husband Dan, and their 5 year-old son, Manny. I met Pam in 1990, shortly after my move to California (from New York), and we became best friends and have holidayed together for many, many years. Pam & I first ‘discovered’ Kauai in 1992 and its beauty left an imprint in our hearts. We have been to Kauai on several subsequent trips but it had been some years since we had done so. We rented a very nice 3-bedroom house in Princeville named Kalika Hale. Princeville is more suburban and ‘sterile’ than Hanalei (and you have to get in the car to go anywhere), but the price was right and it is conveniently located to make trips down to the East and South shores more easy. I had a great week with them, albeit more mellow, but no less fun since having a 5 year old around keeps you on your toes, on the go, and easily entertained. We experienced a few new things: an afternoon kayak up the Kalihiwai River (less than 1 hour) which culminated in a bush/river walk upstream to get to a series of waterfalls. We met a few people on their way out and so we arrived at the waterfall alone and had an amazing private waterfall experience with Dan and Bruce bathing in its magnificence; we also managed to get to Hideaways Beach, which is near the Princeville Hotel, and in which one must navigate a very steep and harrowing half-eroded, half cement, half-wooden and dirt staircase/path to get down to the small sandy beach. The draw is the coral fingered-like reef and we got some good snorkeling in and I saw some fish which I’d not seen before. Pam & I went to yoga a few times, we puttered in Hanalei and got shave ice, we spent many hours at Hanalei Beach, boogie-boarding in the small waves and teaching Manny how to ride the board. I had so much fun with him and feel blessed to have had a week of Manny-time which was very precious to me. Thank you Pam, Dan, and Manny for making your holiday work with ours!

Another new thing that Bruce & I did was to go to the Hindu Monastery in Kapaa and take a tour of the botanical gardens and temples. Located inland about 5 miles from Kapaa, the monastery is situated on 458 acres. The monk who founded this monastery, Guru Deva, bought the land in the 1970’s and the monks have worked the land for the last 30 years, turning it into a really spectacular property with amazing gardens and grounds complete with statues including the Hindu Gods Ganesh and Siva. They’ve been in the process of building their main temple, named Iraivan, for many years now. The stone is from Bangalore, India and is hand carved by stonemasons there; the temple pieces are shipped in containers to Kauai, and then additional Indian masons put the finishing touches on the pieces and then erect them into place. It is a marvelous piece of work and will be a spectacular place to worship once completed. There is also an existing smaller temple, Kadavul Temple, on site, no less special, and we were able to go in and do a short meditation. I totally enjoyed my visit to the monastery and came away with lots of ideas for our Wainui property.

We also had a chance to connect with some friends on the island, folks who had worked with me when I had my vacation rental. Keith and Acacia Morrison, my former all around handyman and on-site island contact, live in Haena, not far from the old house. I had a chance to catch up on news of their extended families and on all the gossip and changes surrounding the vacation rental market up on the north shore. Things had changed and the house I had owned, along with several other houses in Haena, are no longer allowed to be vacation rentals due to some unique law about conservation land (which the house is built on) and the politics surrounding the locals vs the absentee-owners which had always been controversial in this little hamlet. I am fortunate to have been able to sell the property before the government crackdown occurred. We also saw my former housekeeper and gardener, Judith and Joey Eggert, and spent an awesome evening at their house, together with their 19 year old son, Makana, bbq’ing and talking about local food politics, world food issues, spirituality, and a host of other interesting topics. Makana works at a local taro plantation which makes poi, a pudding-like sticky paste, which is near and dear to the islanders. A tourist will typically encounter their first poi experience at a luau, and I have to say, it is often unpalatable. Makana brought home several large bags of freshly made poi of which we were treated to a small taste and both of us thought that ‘real’ poi is much, much different and much tastier! There’s been some noise about introducing GM-modified taro into Kauai (which supplies most of Hawaii’s taro & poi) all under the guise of combating the apple snail, a pest which attacks the taro plant, and Makana has been involved in fighting the Monsanto giants and has gone to Honolulu to protest. Food sovereignty is his cause and we found him to be quite an engaging, knowledgeable young man and enjoyed several hours of conversation with him and Judith and Joey.

Alas, our trip came to an end and we began the long journey home. We had to fly to Honolulu and overnight there so we could catch our early morning flight which would take us home via Sydney again. We stayed at the Pacific Marina Inn on Monday night enjoying our last mai tais. Arriving at the airport on Tuesday morning, we found out that our flight was delayed for 2 1/2 hours and so we spent four hours in the airport before enduring the 10-hour flight to Sydney. The delay caused us to miss our connecting flight to Christchurch, so Jet Star kindly put us up at the Mercure Hotel, complete with a very nice room, dinner, and breakfast. Thank you Rowan from Qantas (Jet Star affiliate) who helped us with our predicament and saw to it that we were taken care of. The next morning (now Thursday since we crossed the international date line) we caught our three hour flight to Christchurch and made it home, safe and sound, by late afternoon.

So here we are, home, in the midst of winter. We’re experiencing a bit of an emotional shift as we adjust to the season, now having to pile on several layers of clothes which is a big change from the bathing suit/sarong attire of Kauai, but we are home and we are happy. Another successful family/friend adventure is behind us, and so we move forward, till the next comes our way.

Eight weeks of nonstop hospitality. That’s what this trip has mainly been about. Receiving hospitality from friends and family; continuous visiting, eating, drinking, conversing, catching up on life. Constant moving around as we stay with friends for two to three days at a time, then on to the next visit. It’s been both great and a bit exhausting.

We’ve seen so many of our lovely friends and have had so many good times…

Highlights:

* Weddings galore with Daniel & Lilian married on July 1st and Joy & David married on July 14
* Guidi family visit with mom, dad, and grandma
* Scanlon sibling visit in Venice with Laura & Stuart
* Book club gal outing to Chez Panisse
* Stern Grove Bhangra concert in the park

* 4th of July visit with Jack & Nane at their lovely Cazadero home in the redwood trees
* Dolores Park picnic with the workshop crew
* Movie and Zachary’s pizza outing with my brother-in-law who shares a love for Harry Potter
* Lunches & Dinners & Teas with Leo, Roni, LaShon, Maria, Maja, Mark, Kelly, Irene, Sinead, and others

* Kidlet camping trip with my little friends Ella, Manny, and Harry and their parents
* Afternoon outing with friends Scott & Anne visiting from Portland
* Day hikes in the East Bay Hills

* Long weekend retreat up at the Russian River with the gang
* Hula hooping with the gals
* Celebrating DK’s 34th!

* Meeting new friend & potential expat Brian and fellow ACAFE tribe member John
* Speakeasy pub outing
* Babysitting little munchkin Manny
* Family gaming day with Joy & David among many other eves spent with them

Yes, this has been a whirlwind trip with barely time to recapture thoughts and feelings into my journal. But now that I’m a week+ back in NZ, I’ve had a bit more time for reflection.

Living in a foreign country that is small, fairly isolated, and still very provincial (comparatively speaking) has already had an impact on me even though we’ve only been gone from SF for a little over a year. The lens from which I view things has changed.

On the one hand, the city and its environs have lost the magic luster once held high over me. The city appeared dirtier, crowded, and dense. Traffic was a nightmare, it seemed, all the time. I never failed to be caught in some type of jam no matter which highway I drove. Homelessness is still a major problem and one can not walk down a city block in the downtown and surrounding neighborhoods without being panhandled by a multitude of the needy. It was overwhelming. The Bay Area (encompassing San Jose) is now home to 7.2 million people, almost twice the numbers that make up the population of New Zealand (4.1 million) whom are spread out over the size of the state of California. Granted, these are things that were bothering me in the years leading up to our exodus, but now I’m noticing that I have very little tolerance for this type of ‘noise’ that pervades my sphere. I don’t handle it well and I was most happiest on this trip when we were outside of the city spending time in more rural and peaceful settings. Fortunately, I spent a total of two+ weeks relaxing amongst the redwood trees in various locales in the Guerneville area. Fabulous.

The magnitude of choices we have in the US, for all things, was noticeably striking. There’s a deleted scene in the Borat movie where Borat is in a supermarket looking at a wall of cheeses, numbering in the hundreds, and he, supposedly not knowing what he’s looking at, has an exchange with the clerk, pointing to each item and asking ‘what is this’ to which the reply is always ‘cheese’. This goes on for a good five minutes. Funny yet poignant. The supermarkets and retail stores are so BIG. So many choices for just one kind of product. Billboards lambasting us with messages to buy, buy, buy lest we fall behind the Joneses. Do we need to have a hundred different salad dressings or a myriad of toilet paper brands to choose from? Think of all the time one wastes trying to filter through all this information. It’s overwhelming and begins to numb the senses. We are no longer filling needs, but catering to wants. Consume because you know you want to not because you actually need to. Don’t get me wrong, I do like to have choices, but really, having the choice of regular, lowfat, or nonfat is quite enough. I don’t know if this is a result of dense urban environments, but I found myself, after a few weeks, totally sucked back in, wanting to shop, wanting to spend money, wanting things, comparing myself to others around me, noticing when I wasn’t measuring up and therefore wanting to consume more. A vicious cycle.

On the plus side, it appeared there was more consciousness around climate change – more products, businesses, and services touting themselves as ‘green’, ‘eco-friendly’ or ‘sustainable’. This can only be a good thing, a step in the right direction, an awareness now on everyone’s minds, a willingness and perhaps a hunger for people and some businesses to ‘do the right thing.’ There has been a paradigm shift and everyone is getting on the bandwagon in the name of saving the planet; it is on the radar of the mainstream masses. Now the trick will be to determine the validity of one’s greenness – setting new standards and regulations by which to benchmark from. There will be lots of room for improvement here.

It was great to see the changes taking place in many of our friends’ lives. Everyone was moving along life’s path quite nicely: marriages, pregnancies, job changes, personal exploration, even talk by a few to move somewhere ‘better’ which for them, despite trying my hardest to entice them to the southern hemisphere, meant possibly moving to Oregon.

And to be fair, there are some spectacularly beautiful places in the area including the Marin Headlands, Sonoma & Napa counties, the whole coast, Berkeley’s Tilden Park, Memorial Park near La Honda, and much more all within a relatively short distance (as far as the crow flies) from San Francisco. Trying to get there, along with millions of other like-minded people is the battle though.

Many friends asked questions along the lines of “Is New Zealand everything you hoped for?”, “Are you going to stay forever?” and “When are you coming back?” How do I answer these? I’ve been on one big gigantic emotional roller coaster ride for the last two years torn between wanting something better for myself which meant leaving the safety blanket of my life as I knew it, and staying put in SF, surrounded by loving friends and family, comfortable yet unfulfilled. Rarely a day goes by when I ask myself, is this the right thing? And right now the answer is yes. I, or I should say we, have made the right decision for ourselves for this point in our lives. As individuals and together as a couple, we are on an inextricable journey together, trying to find our purpose, our path. We are pushing our boundaries A LOT; expanding, contracting, breaking through personal road blocks, pushing ourselves to break old habits and open our hearts. Ironically, in my exploration of our new interests in permaculture/organics, spirituality, and sustainability, I’ve become more aware of how prevalent these are right in the Bay Area and the pacific northwest. Could I have pursued these things just a stones throw away from where we were? I don’t really think so. To make such a radical life change required a radical upheaval which would not have occurred if we were in easy distance from the comfort of our friends and life as we knew it. Starting with a fresh slate, with new eyes, with new definitions of our selves seems to be the way we had to go. Of course we, as human beings, create the stories to fit our experiences, but who really knows why we’ve landed ourselves in NZ? I can tell you why I think we’re here and what we hope to achieve, but I can also bet that much will unfold in ways we never could have dreamed of. And as for whether we will stay forever… that’s a pretty tough question to answer. All I know is, today, I am happy, right here, right now.

And so the journey and holiday back to the States has come to a close. I cherish the moments I had with everyone and look forward to when we can do it again. However, there are no current plans on the horizon to return to the States in the upcoming year ahead; we need to keep our focus here and make some progress on our path. Stay in touch; send an email; pick up the phone; better yet, come for a visit!

The raison d’etre for our trip back to the States this July and August was to participate in the wedding of my one and most special sibling Joy to her most suitable and complimentary partner David.

The wedding of the year some said (well, at least in Guidi & Wygant circles).

It was a destination wedding, with guests flying in from around the country to celebrate in style over a period of days.

As matron of honor, I had a myriad of duties to perform. Not the least being to throw a bachelorette/bridal shower weekend party. Planned from New Zealand, I arrived in San Francisco two days before the shower weekend. With my sombadine Christina (David’s sister), we filled the car with all the treats and goodies we needed and drove up to the party site which happened to be our friends Jack and Nane’s beautiful Victorian weekend home in Cazadero (Sonoma County, near Russian River). BBQ, swimming, safari-themed, signature drinks, and some naughty-yet-appropriate games were on the agenda for the twelve gals in attendance. A lot of laughs and giggles were shared by all.

I was also responsible for tending to any last minute tasks delegated to me by the expert-project-manager-and-bride-to-be. This included getting sticky labels off of 100 wine-stopper party favors (which required a special concoction of dipping in hot water and then rubbing with olive oil), sourcing a few last minute objects for the wedding reception and making and delivering sixty ‘welcome snack bags’ for the motel-staying-wedding-guests. What a laugh we had putting these together with mom, dad, and grandma all part of the assembly operations team!

Ah, and most importantly, it was my job and desire to write a wedding toast which would fully honor the union of Joy and David. I take these things very seriously and started thinking about this the day they told us about the wedding almost a year ago. Hubby Bruce was also asked to make a toast. Some time back in January, we came up with the clever idea of singing a duet at the wedding. Neither Bruce nor I sang (well, Bruce did do karaoke, but I would never dream of getting up in front of a crowd). Not to be deterred by this little fact, we solicited one of our New Zealand friends who is a professionally trained singer to give us some lessons. And for the last six months we went for weekly lessons at Gen’s place. And we learned to sing. First just random songs that we picked out and enjoyed, and then back in April, Bruce wrote wedding song lyrics to a popular 80’s tune. It was great. We practiced and refined for nine weeks and were as prepared as we could be. We secretly contacted the wedding DJ and roped him into our plan. Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh, it’s a secret! {keep reading if you want to know more!}

The wedding was held at the Sonoma Coast Villa & Spa situated on 28 acres of rolling pastureland about eight miles from the coastal town of Bodega. Specifically catering to weddings, this was the perfect locale with eighteen upscale guest rooms (enough to accommodate the bride and groom, twelve person wedding party, significant others, and family), a swimming pool, indoor/outdoor dining areas, and gorgeous landscaped lawns and gardens. The perfect place, surrounded by nature, to host a beautiful wedding celebration.

And what a celebration it was. Mom, dad, and 95-year-old-whippersnapper gran arrived from Florida on Wednesday afternoon. After a night in town, the wedding party, other family, Joy & David, and the Guidi clan arrived on site Thursday afternoon. Twenty-five of us went out for a casual dinner, which gave us the opportunity to reacquaint or introduce ourselves to the other wedding party members.

On Friday, a local wine-tasting outing was arranged by Joy & David and participated in by the thirty-plus guests who had arrived the night before. The Wygant and Guidi family members (parents, gran, me, Bruce, and Christina) elected to stay behind and practice our speeches by the sun-drenched poolside. Ah, R&R!

Friday afternoon was an hour-long ceremony rehearsal where we all got to meet the bohemian and affable officiant, Judith. Afterwards sixty-plus guests attended a rehearsal dinner and were treated to a lovely welcoming speech delivered by David’s best man and father, Tom Wygant. There was lots of excitement as friends reunited from Cornell, SMU, Stanford, and Harvard.

Saturday. Showtime! A day filled of preparations!. The bridesmaids had a private suite in which to get ready, have our hair done (first call for hair was 9 am!), and savor the moment with Joy. The groomsmen, I think, had a bit more of a relaxing schedule. We all had to be ready by two pm for photos. We bridesmaids, in our chocolate brown dresses with cream colored sashes, posed for photos with a colorful rainbow of parasols. Two hours of phototastic fun! Joy and David looked gorgeous/handsome in their wedding digs and were perfect hams for the camera!

Four p.m. Judith performed a beautiful ceremony, regaling us with the story of Joy and David’s courtship (among other things) and reminded us to ground with the earth and call in the ancestors to join us in witnessing this union. Joy radiated with excitement. Clouds billowed and the wind rustled through the trees. The excitement was contagious as everyone shouted in unison, “We now pronounce you husband and wife!”

More photos, cocktail hour, and then the outdoor reception. Nine tables nestled among four mature and light filled trees. Buffet style dinner. Outdoor dance floor and D.J. Speeches given by the best man, groom, father-of-the-bride, matron-of-honor, bridesmaids, groomsmen, and other friends. I was quite nervous to perform and had been holding it together by staying focused on the desired outcome – success. And successful it was! The music started, everyone recognized the tune, and then the words belted out by Bruce & myself. Laughter and applause. The look of shock on Joy’s and others faces as we sang and swayed on the dance floor. Afterwards guests came up to us the rest of the night and the next day and offered up much praise and accolades. What a great feeling!

And now, without further ado, the lyrics of The Joy & David wedding song, sung to the tune of “Don’t You Want Me Baby” by The Human League:

Kristin took Joy to a party at a cocktail bar
Though Joy wanted to chill
David went to say goodbye to his departing roommate
Joy met David, what a thrill
Now three years later on they’ve got the world at their feet
Success for them is always there
They took their time, they looked around and then they both chose
And now they’re such a lovely pair!

Joy, Joy and David
You know that we’re so happy that you found each other
Joy, Joy and David
You know that we’re so happy that you got together
And now the deed is done
The two of you are one
Now all you have in front of you is celebration

We love you Joy and David, Oh we love you oh
We love you Joy and David, Oh we love you oh

It’s amazing when you think about how sweet they are
Their parents are too.
With sisters like this I don’t think you’ll ever go wrong
And Grandma Nettie’s there for you.

Three single years together have been such good fun
There’s more for you
And now the strength of many will be lifting you up
It’s not just the two of you

Dave, David Wygant
You know that we’re so happy we can call you brother
Tom, Thomas Wygant,
Your long loving relationship with Hannalore
Carmella and Hugo
Are examples that will show
This young couple the path towards a life together

We love you Joy and David, Oh we love you oh
We love you Joy and David, Oh we love you oh

It appears that no one except the professional videographer captured our debut performance and so, unfortunately, we all must wait patiently for the wedding compilation. I will post as soon as I can.

The remainder of the evening was filled with DJ Goyo playing some funky house beats which got the majority of the guests including mom and dad throwing it down on the dance floor. Outdoor dance party under the stars. The food was delicious. The three-tiered cake, made by friend Karen, melted in your mouth. Smiles, laughter, and joy. A post party was held nearby at a friends rented house which went on to the wee hours of the morn.

Sunday morning brunch was served for fifty guests. A time to reflect and laugh at the events of the night before. To tell stories. To share photos. To get in last minute conversations before everyone dispersed across the country.

Joy and David left the next day for a two-week safari honeymoon in Zambia. Bruce & I had the Guidi clan for another few days which we enjoyed with them in Cazadero relaxing by the stream, playing cards, and shooting pool. A perfect way to end this celebratory gathering.

Yes, we love you Joy & David. And to quote from dad’s speech “May your lives be filled with lots of love, good health, and lots of children!.” You da’ best. Enjoy!

I had thought I was going to play ‘tourist’ while in San Francisco – you know, do all the things I never got around to doing while living there. In our ten weeks, the only new things I managed to achieve were walking around Telegraph Hill searching and successfully seeing the wild parrots {I highly recommend the book and the documentary} and getting in an afternoon hike in Berkeley’s Tilden Park. I didn’t see any shows or go to any museums or movies. I didn’t hike and bike around. I didn’t watch TV (well, the only show I –happily– got suckered into watching was Project Runway and it was a good thing as it seems most of our friends are secret PR lovers!)

What we did do a whole lot of was visit with friends. Lots of lunches and dinners with our pals, generally out five or six nights a week, yakking and eating and sharing stories. At times I was a bit frazzled and the Libra in me struggled with wanting some very much-needed quiet and alone time versus wanting community and social time.

I am grateful for all my friendships and I think Bruce & I managed to see 99% of the gang. Many of you we saw frequently, a few only once. It was wonderful to catch up and hear about people’s progress on their path – it seems like 2006 brought, and is bringing, change for many (it’s that Saturn in Leo thing). Some good, some not so good – however, I have to believe it all happens for a reason and is important for our personal growth.

As we drew nearer to our departure, many of the emotions I felt when we moved back in February surfaced again – excitement to be going off into our unknown future; sadness in leaving our community behind.

But we must do what we must do and I very much appreciate all the support and love our family and friends have shown us. It’s important to acknowledge and honor this amazing group of people, so this is a shout out to you:

Grandma, moms & dads Guidi & Scanlon, Joy, David, Laura, Stuart, Darek, Ken, Kat, Drew, Daniel, Lilian, Mike, Mary, Mei, Johnny, Jim, Marla, Kelly, Ted, Ahzmeer, Michael F, Rich, Alex, Ryan, Aram, Tom, Eric, Jones, Lori, Susan, Harry, Pam, Dan, Manny, Suzy, Roni, Ella, Martina, Lang, Jo, Jack, Nane, Arianna, Mark, Rachel, Scott, Joanne, Anne, Gregg, Laura, Holly, Karie, Gerri, Amy, La Shon, Maria, Greg, Mark, Maja, Sinead, Irene, Michael R, Brendan, Jai, Charmaine, Cass.

Did I get everybody? I hope so.

We’ve had many a good laugh and many a good cocktail – may there be more in our future! I can’t wait for you to visit us in New Zealand (well, actually, I can wait, just a little bit, maybe a few months – the much-needed quiet time is about to come and is still much needed [grin])

Here’s to progress on our path!

ILY!